Keep on pretending

Today I realized There’s no escape No escape from the pain inside Unlike my heart My mind isn’t empty It’s full of agonizing thoughts Each one worse than the one before I feel like my head is internally bleeding Jealousy. Rage. Torment. Anguish. Emotions sweep over me Like the tide over sand I want to make it all go away But there’s no cure and no antidote Banging my head against a wall Relieves some of my dismals I want to go back to how I was before When I was loved and wanted When I was cared for Blinded by the hollow silence From deep within my soul It’s unbearable Screaming helps to block it out Helps to forget my decaying heart Please give me something To numb my mind I want to pretend everything’s alright