Larceny, loonies.. and love?

Wannabee driver, three buses had nicked... In Dutch town, he'd passengers picked! Alas! and alack! cops did intervene... And nabbed the fellow, aged just fifteen! Russian thief...feels badly bereft; Duly arrested, and charged with theft! Swiped car from garage, for heaven's sakes... But soon it crashed, for it had no brakes! Robbers were digging a tunnel to vault... Why were they naked? extreme heat the fault! Tunnel collapsed, so starkers they ran... To no avail...hauled off in cop van! Preparing for death, buying coffins absurd? No! says Romanian, procuring her third! First one had warped, second got rotten... On balcony stored, and then forgotten! Beckinsale's catsuit, not for a lark... Kate says it gives...her marriage a spark! Pete feels Kate Moss, is just simply dilly... Doherty dumped...because of small willy! More sexual partners, have creative folk... This survey finding, made me gasp and choke! Writers and poets, their sex lives on song... Why and where, did yours truly go wrong! Verses freely based on material obtained from news24.com and ananova.com