Little Deaths

An argument is playing in the CD player of our lives, Each of us have hit repeat so many times... I think it may be stuck. I am stuck. I hear your stale words fall freshly on ears that have echoed with these same words a thousand times. I hear it no more, It is nothing more than gentle rain on the windows of my soul... You bring me gifts of smiles that bandage up these wounds. You bring me sparkles in your eyes that allow me to be renewed. You bring me dreams of a happy tomorrow, that cleanses the pain of yesterday. Sweet words that clothe the sickness. But even this is empty now. Those empty promises bring with them an intimacy so vague, nothing more than a strangers kiss. an insult that leaves a wound. Vivid but unseen. Caked over by the blood of despair... festering with helplessness, and anger. I am convinced we only stitch these wounds up, so we have a thread to play with when we are bored. A rope to tie us together. A noose to hang ourselves, each other... Until one of us cuts the tread to resuscitate us both back to this, the endless cycle. But can I truly blame you for all this hurt? For you only have the weapons to use, that I, myself, placed in your hands! I handed you the keys to my dreams, my thoughts. Now they mock me from behind your eyes... Trapped and caged, held hostage, where I can no longer reach them. Where they no longer inspire me, nor hold any beauty. It is these little deaths that we die everyday, that shall ultimately destroy us all. **** (this one is still a work in progress, but it is basically about how we suffer the pain of when your loved ones are not what you need/want them to be, each time they let you down, it is like a little death of a secret part of you, until you have no more feeling for them, neither love nor hate of any degree, just numbness!!!) ***