Looking Back

I took for granted, the things that I had, so i don't really have any right to be mad I knew that things would eventually change But before I knew it, I was living life in the fast lane Now, looking back on my life so far, to get where I am I've worked so hard And I'm still working because this just isn't good enough, butof course, there are times when I feeling like giving up I wonder if I'vereally learned anything, orgottenanywhere, One thing I definatelyknow-lifes too short tolivein despair, I'm tryingso hard, but what is it all for? I've beenplaying a game, but I lost track of the score, I don't know ifI'mwinning or loosing this battle, either way I've beenstuck holding ontoa sattle If I don't let go, I'll be safe andprotected, but ifI just let go-maybe my wrongs will be perfected Maybe the pain will teach me to feel, to love to laugh I'm afraid to embrace what's close to me, but I have so much love to give, I'm afriad to express myself-lostin a whirl of ideasand perceptionsof me, I live in secret-but Iknow they're love thereal me, I try and try, butI accepted the real me is who I'll never be, Who I am is what I once was underneath it all, Who I want to be isthe one with pride, not the one that wants to cry and hide My insides and outs-I feel like so manyseperate people Differentthoughts, faces, minds-but where is mine? I was too busy living life in thefuture, that Iforgot the present is what I am and always will be- just another sister, just another daughter, just another friends and jut another student I am a somebody that a nobody surrounded in a world of fakesand phonies-but then again... maybe I am too