lost

for as long as I can remember theres been a void, a gap in my life I fill it with a smile that I paint on each morning and everyone thinks that im fine no one looks behind the mask they don't want, nor care to see they wouldn't know what to say or do, if they saw what was consuming me. im tired im drained im lonely and lost but I just cant figure it out I don't know what is missing right now in creeps the self doubt in bed I lie so tired yet stare at the ceiling like ive just woke up my eyes will close, but my mind just cant im on the edge like im going to erupt with nowhere to turn I am lost there is no exit door no stage left or escape route swallowed up by the floor no one to help me out of this place where I don't need to plaster a smile on my face where I don't need to pretend any more where someone will show me the exit door I see a light at the end of the tunnel and I can be happy once more I just need to get through day by day and one day I will be sure sure of life and sure of living making it day by day there is only one way to find out of course thats living my life that way