Marital and other mix-ups

Man sued for divorce, sick to the core... Of having to lunch, with his mother-in law! Measures extreme; oh! dear, my oh! my... Gossiping wife, locked up in pigsty! Kidnapping faked; betrothed he was shedding... So desperate was man, to get out of wedding! Lady from Jordan, in shame hides her face... Secret lover - husband - in cyberspace! Gifts inscribed, caused great pain and strife... Wrong ones were given, to mistress and wife! Sex toy iPod, vibrates...does not jerk... For ladies big smiles, on way to work! Brazilian rooms, they do decorate Hotel for pets, to procreate! Train delay, for commuters just sucks... Toy penguin mistaken, for dead man in tux! Ref in Brazil, divorce now must face... Seeking red card, for player's disgrace! What came from his pocket? c'mon take a guess... A pair of red knickers...lacy no less! Adapted from items in ananova.com