Mental Torment (self-medicated)

Am I anything but a failure. I watch my peers with there lives successful........ But I'm cursed with a gift, that makes me preternatural. A bottle is all I have anymore. It's the only thing that doesn't judge. It helps the creep feel normal. Suicide the only thought I have, the only thought that warms my soul. the darkness seems over bearing at times. Am I Insane, should I just lock my self in a padded room... with a coat restraining my arms. I say to myself take this curse and make it you. Life is not about finding yourself . It's about the creation of oneself. you can't find something that was never missing, the pieces are inside you it's up to you to mold them. Suicide is no option for me. I am Unique to many of the depressed take there lives I am going to destroy anything that between Me. and my creation.