Mind of a Misfit

I turn it on, I press play I listen to Radiohead sing “Creep” I leave the TV on all night Absorb radiation in my sleep. I get up, I go to school I see through their attempts to be cool. I find meaning, it disappears I see new things I gain new fears. I come home, I’m full but I eat I waste my brain Until it’s beat. I lay down, but I can’t sleep I can’t wake up Because my dreams are deep. The sun is beautiful, but I prefer the moon Because the night brings change Fractures my cocoon. I read, I try to relate I keep building walls They seal my fate. I gain more struggles Every single day And the more lights they give me The more I lose my way. It’s actually harder to cope When your problems aren’t real Because then you feel bad For the things that you feel. Everything you accomplish, everything you evoke Would it really still matter, if we were just a cosmic joke? I’m paranoid so I look everywhere I didn’t check the ceiling, is the monster up there? As soon as I think of it, it’s already moved And I’ll never know what it was trying to prove. Sometimes darkness consumes us, but I feel alright. Because the existence of darkness proves there is light. In the mirror my face doesn’t look how I feel I think “Turn around! Turn around!” “For once something be real!” I wish I could see through different eyes And hear through different ears I wish I could believe in your heaven It seems to help you deny your fears. I never really go to sleep Because I live in dreams too Why is my reality so different From the life I pursue?