My Christmas Attitude

My Christmas Attitude This might just be the greatest Christmas of them all; Santa won’t be comingand we’ll undeck the hall. Silver bells are ringing,they sound flat to me, and those are empty boxes underneath the Christmas tree. Carolers are singing,they are all off key and That angel on the treetop just made a face at me. The mistletoe is shriveled, no one wants a kiss. Santa’s yard is filled up now, with reindeer shit and piss. The Christmas tree was dead, before we brought it in, The ornaments are broken and we’ve uninvited kin. The eggnog has gone sour and the ham might make you sick, Stockings filled with lumps of coal and big, old bundled sticks. The gingerbread is burned and the fudge just drips like glue. My neighbor shot the mailman…no Christmas card for you. The snow out in my yard is as filthy as can be And that damned snowman Frosty, just flipped the bird at me! I need another slice of fruitcake, the one that’s soaked with rum, My family thinks that I am drunk, but I’m just having fun. Another bottle of Christmas Cheer? Please hurry, fill my glass. Maybe they’re right;a couple more,I’ll be plastered off my ass! © tlp 2010