Philosophical

I can feel It coming 
I grab my favorite thing 
Try to distract myself 
But it is too late 
 
I have to do it 
I need it to be my way 
It shouldn’t matter 
But it does 
 
I did it yesterday 
But I have to do it again 
I know I should try something else 
But I can’t, it hurts 
The only way to stop the pain 
Is to do it again, and again 
 
Sometimes I think my parents hate me 
They tell me that I can stop if I chose 
But I can’t. I must do it again 
If I don’t it hurts my head 
How I wish they could take this away 
 
I wrote this for my son. He struggles every day with O.C.D. and Autism Spectrum Disorder