oxymoron

Sometimes I don`t have a clue what to do with myself. There are times when I want to hit something, and demolish everything in sight. Other times, my mind consists of illusions that are filled with joy and manifest tranquility. My brain contaminated with so many emotions I cannot control , fears i cannot escape. I wonder what it what be like to exploit the darkest of my thoughts, and unveil the detonation of my anger. Other times, I don`t have a clue.....