Pain

My world is shattering The universe spins inside my head Revealing new wonders every day But no one sees, because of my failing I speak, shout, but it's incoherent, There are so many worse off than I So I cannot complain, that is selfish, My fealings don't matter, they are selfish, My choices are wrong, every one All options pulling me in someone else's direction My thoughts are boring, my pursuits uninteresting I am wrong for not liking theirs Everyone else does... But each one has a different way No matter which one I take I am wrong for not choosing the others Now I am wrong for having an anxiety attack! What do I have to be anxious about... So I settle with my book to calm myself Then have an apifiny, only to realize No one will know, no one cares, The pain in my soul is killing me Every day I think about death as a relief Oh... To have the pain stop... But they need my health benefits, They need the money I make, They need me to find the answers The doctors can't, but will take credit for The conflict is killing me. Pain in my bones, pain in my head, Pain in my joints, pain in my stomach, And of course... unbearable pain in my chest. I sought help and they only want to take away who I am Use meds to force me to be ok With what everyone else wants My choices are death by my one hand When the pain breaks my mind Or chemical death, when the force me To become what everyone else wants me to be The only choice I can live with is the pain I just don't know for how long...

Mental Journey

I am on a journey of the mind. Contemplating the universe on every scale, and doing a complete introspective exploration. I may never be a literary academic, but I share my humble thoughts in hope that they may inspire others.

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