Paradise Lost And Found

(Remark: Jan 2000, I was only 17 and he was 22, my first real heartbreak :-) - I thought my life was over! ) Never a touch, never a word would ever betray what my heart heard, ambiguous memories marred by subjective feelings reiterate through my masochistic mind's eye... I never said goodbye. Not even a whisper gave warning of the devine hights that his presence would bring or the demonic depths in which his absence left me yearning. Nor does there abide any regret for though I may'nt have my desire change in me, of his get, has lit a priceless fire: to savour life and to accept instead of judging in ire. Never though did rationalisation sooth an aching soul... But perhaps, in appretiation I may at least smile sadly when tears wake me in the grey of the morn and laughing, azure eyes haunt my torn heart...