Pondering During a Cold Fall Evening

I'm so sick of crying So tired of lying to all the people close to me I'm so tired of thinking I'm slowly, softly sinking into a hell i can't see. I'm so sick of missing I'm so sick of reminissing all the times I couldn't breathe I'm so sick of dreaming I'm so tired of believeing that someday you'll change for me. I'm so sick of waiting I'm tired of debating whether I'll ever be free I'm so sick of staring I'm so sick of sharing My heart to be left to bleed I'm so sick of frowing I'm so sick of downing pity and guilt and fear I'm so sick of sleeping I'm so sick of weeping Creating black, evil tears I'm so sick of myself a dirty, rotten wealth Spoiled with love and fantasy Sadly it was all a delusion A masked, prime illusion To maybe put my soul at peace. It was all my fault. It was all my fault. It was all my fault.