Post Rape

I often get this feeling, that comes from deep in me, I wonder if I'm healing, or if my anger wants to break free, my doctors say its depression, my mother says I'm mad, my paster says devotion, will help me not feel sad, someone said I was crazy, my friend just says it's me, someone said I was different, but no one really sees, sometimes I get real edgy, I want to go and hide, then I'll get a headache, that makes me want to cry, I'm waiting for solutions, to help me feel more sane, but sanity is an illusion, to live is to feel pain, what is the this I am feeling, could it be disappear, why can't I just be normal, this isn't really fair.