Pushing me to the void

The wall was still, dense, and unforgiving, Though it looked and felt like the hardest solid Each part was motion, each one pounded, Drumming like steel fists into our skulls, Myriads ahead, behind, inside, The mystical fractal surrounded us. That spectral lord, evasive potentate, Twists and warps under their stare. We fear copiously, but must we so? It would not matter much at all, But we hold greedily onto our existence. Each a different life and being, Yet like this we live together, Since the beginning until, The very brief and bitter End. The very same comes, Rolling swiftly, up among us, To arms, but with which we resist, Is torn away, flung like an Insignificant sprig, and thus we Are laid bare to their thin black eyes, Spitting out fire and death with bangs. The wall shows no signs of ceasing, No signs of giving us even a fleeting glimpse Of what drags us to the jaws of Death. We are wanted to believe It is some animal that savages us, But they are like us, in a way: Scared, frightened, confused. They said there’d be a glorious charge, The clash of man on man. But nothing like that ever happens, Stories we foolishly believed; The patriotism so instilled in our hearts; The only glory is the illusion itself. I want to tear myself away, I want to run, to scream, to hide, To take myself from this horror and suffering. The madness has gripped me, and this is how I slip and slide at my own hands’ work, I want to punish someone for this, I want someone to pay the price, Why should I endure the pain? Pandemonium. Noise. I lie there. The wall crumbles. The thudding. The blues fade, while The greens whirl afore. Some higher evil forced me here, The jutting spike has at last reached me. But, no fear: I have faced down Death, And I have stared into his very eyes. That thought is all I have. That thought is all that keeps me On the brink. Keeps me from tumbling Into the void.