Sad Memory, Not Forgotten

Why does my life have to suck? Why was I born with such bad luck? Its hard to live from day to day, being scared to talk, just saying 'hey'. To know that your soul is small and weak, to think too much about when to speak. It makes you wanna cry because you know your a coward, you wish your soul had much more power. You have your skill, you can play your game, but failing at being a social human, quite a shame. I feel like killing myself, to end this misery, but my friends will be hurt, and that hurts me terribly. This tear I shed doesn't mean shit, since I lock myself in my own damn pit. Im scared of myself, and my friends can see, that I know alot, and thats threatning. But what can they do? They have their own problems. And adding my death to that list, is another memory, not forgotten. That is all I want to be, to not be known. but I know my own embarrassment, was already shown. Im gonna make the jump, take the low road from the high. Rid myself of this torment, of such a pathetic life. I wish I could muster the strength to save myself now, and sit on MY own throne, with MY own crown. I want to grow up, but im growing myself thin, this poem is a small thread, from what I feel within. Your a germ under a microscope, your brain thinks, and you are just under its incredible power to shrink. The drugs you take are just to open yourself up, but it exposes your true self, a life thats stuck. Ill stop complaining now, I bet you cant wait till the end, I cant blame you now, and i know i cant be your friend.