see what had happened was....

Time is ticking, passing by Blood pressure steaming boiling Cause I know all I’m gonna hear is a mouthful of lies. "See what had happen was"… Is the first thing out ya mouth If I had a dollar for every time I heard that my Pockets would be full of wealth .. .. It’s always an excuse of what, who needed you But obligations and responsibility is needed here Not the time for ur homies to bull shit and slam some beers. But all you see is me bitching and trying to control nigga I ain’t your momma u need to let that shit go .. .. More and more fighting Blow ups, and brawls Escalating to worser and harmful saying It’s one and one now Forget one for all. .. .. How did we get like this? Feeling like I have given up so much Given u years, babies and most of all me The lost me What have I done to deserve this? Let’s not point fingers cause it’s not all what u have done But what I had let you do. .. .. U say “I can’t be with you if u gonna turn me in. I’m tryna do for me and my future now” But don’t get it twisted cause what u see as Trying to succeed is pushing away your kids And not just me .. .. When is it my turn to empower myself? To nourish and feed my mind and soul I’m taking the whole load not just for me but for yours Well ain’t that some shit sitting here with a job that’s not taking Me anywhere for all these years Putting my future ff so you can do you Pale, thinning hair is just part of the physical Transformation but deeper pain lies within my bones Finally see myself for the first time in years as one person Instead of my family’s reflection in the mirror When things end and time stops I’m here alone regardless of who I thought I got Lost myself in the shuffle of lies, shit talking and hatred This is not how it started, our children made out of love Love how I long for it; how I thought I had it and now see that I deserve it So it’s over 6 year’s gone, But not for nothing Got my baby girls; the apple of my eye So regardless of all the hurt and anger All I can say now is…… Thank you........ Thank you cause you gave me; me back. You gave me; me exactly where I am suppose to be You gave me the desire to be free Free without limits and boundaries. To live a life of purpose without the teases See what could have been wouldn’t have been me That’s not who I am, Or who I’m supposed to be See God’s gotta plan for me, Best believe The devil is not longer here to deceive Life goes on and I’m gonna make the best for it for us Loving, laughing learning exploring what it is to live Cause living is a must