Self Confliction

Self conflict I close my eyes and start to think I put down my pen and watch the ink spill on to the page about every line that crosses my mind and like the sun these words will make you blind Confused and shocked all at the same time wondering what's going on in this brain inside locked out of all of my secrets I don’t know what to do I can't believe it I'm so shut down like a vault that can only be opened from the inside Outside is where I stand without a key only this pen Make me believe I'm not who I am Then I might see this kind of man who is tough on the outside like a hardened shell made from the steel with fires from hell But I love and feel like everyone else It’s a cruel world I keep telling myself love and be loved it feels so nice but its hard to manage with a heart of ice I feel like a killer born for war but when I stop to think I want so much more family and kids I want all the above I want a life filled with love.