Selfish Living Suicide

Selfish Living Suicide Someone once told me, You can not understand. What it feels like to hate everything, They didn’t know me that well. I am selfish, The world is ignorant and arrogant. And again I am selfish, Wanting to escape. How many times have the shadows hid my tears, How many times have I lied to myself? Looked at the bottle of pills, Thought who would find me in the morning. And stopped, For their sake. Yes….. For their sake. And then I am here again, In cerebral chaos. Spinning in suicidal thoughts, You’ve heard it before. Drifting between insanity and reality, Suicidal conscious and my dead interior. I don’t know what it’s like to hate everything, Because I despise everything. So simple, To crush those pills. Stir them in a glass of water and- Drink. What’s stopping me? Cowardice. I am selfish, But no one knows. Sheena Allen July 2007