shaded

do you know how it feels when everything you do is wrong, when you cant shake that feeling you dont belong, your soul dark like the lights wont turn on, vision blurred with the tears you fight back, pain worse then a kick to the sack, heart shattered like that mirror you looked in, my life is just one big sin, people talk about being close to the edge, well iv already fallen the phone rings but you ignore the callin, dont wanna hear what you'v done wrong this time, how you have ruined another life, when the knife in your hand is so tempting, you sit for hours sharpening, contemplating what your goina do, cos you cant take it, cant make it through, cant find a light in the darkness, no way out exept the knife and its sharpness you lay in bed hoping you wont wake to face another day, and when you do you got no clue how your goina make it through, you see me smiling? i fake it, feels like the wheight of the world on my shoulders and i cant shake it, i cant take it, but fuck it, these are my problems to deal with, i dont wanna ask for help, i wont show how i feel, the pain is too real, i guess i deserve it but im sick of it, goin crazy, yea insane but i wont complain, dont wanna seem weak but i dont give a fuck anymore. my life, my problems, fuck what you think