Sunshine and Angels

i was feeling some pretty strange things at the time I wrote this a few years ago. An alternate between whimsical/ ethereal and conviction/ strength of spirit. I wanted to fly up into a blissful place, into the cornflower blue sky and enjoy the wonders of this world. and at the same time i was convinced that none of these wonders existed, they're just there...in our minds to be delete them from our memory banks in order to move on...Reality counts far more in THIS life. It's Monday morning, 9am. Time to rise and start living!!! The radio broadcaster's enthusiasm conveying my waking state exactly. Sunshine and the sweet smell of roses flowing in through my window, My life seems better, fantasically more fulfilling then days gone by. No sign of emptiness Clear sound sanity has resurfaced. No more risk or pain. Venturing for the unattainable, Once shot down, inevitably failed at the task, There is no-one to blame. She rises once more, stronger to resume her life journey. Pride comes to blows many times in a person's life. The need to love, cherish and destroy is as intrinsic to human nature as the need to survive. Love, a memory of long ago, sketchy at best but still on the periphery, nudging to be let in. The urge to know the mixed blessings of sharing one soul, To know acceptance... An all-encompassing feeling of being in the right place. Hatred now pushes out the good, The door opened once but that care, now Transformed to meaningless gestures. A face, now even more meaningless then the stray leaves that brushes one's nonchalent back. Life to me is the single-tracked, one-dimensional hazard-free road. Without detours, or distractions. Following this path would be more fruitful Then the need for shared happiness. But then our very idea of happiness contrasts substantially and with distinct underlinings. I read, he plays. i laugh, he scowls. Wavelengths and moral beliefs differ so massively that the mere idea of a friendship, much less an actual relationship... Gets people in stitches...of laughter. Indeed... what IS happiness? Is it the pleasure of reaching the ultimate goal? Is it the fact that we are still standing regardless Of the numerous obstacles we face? or is it... merely the contentment produced from appreciating simple pleasures. Life goes on..mine thankfully, Back on track. I wake to greet the new day with song, with angel-filled thoughts, dreams filled with sunshine and the sound Of children laughing in delight, of fields filled With dew-soaked flowers, Bringing with it fresh promise. Birds humming sweet tunes in response to the new dawn. And my heart, surprisingly.... full of peace.