Sweet Madeleine

I guess I can say, the way you make me feel... But how can I do so without hurting others? Empty promises, tie me to my obligated commitment. Like a child, I always want what I cannot have. Is it wrong, is it wrong, to feel this way, it feels so good. I cannot stop this feeling, I cannot make it go away, and hiding it makes me so sad. In a perfect world, it would have been me and you, in a perfect world it could have been us, together... Thruth is, I see in you the world, a perfect world. Your, perfection both physical and spiritual. Maybe caring should be simple, but then nothing ever really is. So many years passed, a decade or more, since I have really longed for someone. In my head I saw this as lost, as was a first love. Now I know I was wrong, how wrong I really was. Butterflies, fluttering with insomnia, a desire, a dire need, your fire and your passion... Love, truest of its form, in its entire, but I am not allowed to. As if the moment you find love in such an essence that you cannot hold on to it. That you will never be allowed it, as if my curse that I am never to find it again. No lying, merely for simplicity and companionship. No lying, merely for convenience and simpathy sake. Time complicates all and the fact that I took the easy way, makes it my fault. I could have loved you, I could have had you, we would have been so good.. Maybe caring should not be so complicated, but then nothing ever is. In a prefect world it would have been me and you, together as one. *The obstacle I am faced with, tests my truest spirit. God of Love, Mother of all divine, be with me and guide me on my way. No harm be done so mote it be*