the darkness

there's a darkness, an emptiness, that I cant escape creeping over me like a blanket, a drape, a shadow, a cloud, a grave getting deeper if I said 'I want out' would that make me any weaker? than everyone else that is struggling too? than everyone else that is muddling through? should I be stronger? should I man up? I don't think I can, this shit just wont stop the loneliness is deafening, the emptiness is cruel, I feel like i'm being stupid, I feel such a fool, I've got so much to live for, yet nothing left to lose, how the fuck does that work? I am so confused! this crucifying cycle that I cant seem to break this stupid smile i'm struggling to fake, my head Is so heavy i'm so fucking tired, each attempt of happiness, completely backfired, I hope the end is near, one way or another, this will all be over, I wont feel so smothered, so lost, so empty, bruised and broken, 'And still I rise' not a truer word spoken!