The Last Pill

I hate this angered infliction, Coming to me as if an addiction, I smoke, drink and take drugs far too much, As if needing and desiring to feel too much, I cannot live another day, Feeling worthless much to dismay, You don’t know what pain you cause, Above all, this is your only flaw, I took the last pills with you in heart, I couldn’t take it that’s where to start, The inadequacy you make me feel, Whilst you’re lips are locked away and sealed, You hide away from things that aren’t right, Well what if they are? My heart becomes tight, My liver exposed to the eight drinks previous, Clutching my temples I don’t want to feel this, The physical cannot be compared, To the emotional that I have shared, I lay here pleading wanting transparency, Negating my very own competency, The one I love, my one true love, Has ended this she said enough, I cannot bear the sight of another, To share her hold and be known as her lover. The world becomes a haze, My stance becomes staged, I pretend to all that I am just tired, When really I want to be expired, My vision impaired I go outside, For just one last cigarette that I must abide, To feel the burn inside my soul, It reaches my lungs and I strongly hold, The potion of chemicals and alcohol too, I cannot live, this is for you, That is my reasoning, unjustifiable to some, I wish you were here, I wish you would come, So you could see how I need your touch, All of this has become far too much, I pass out and hope to you in dreams, But my broken spirit falls apart at the seams, I wake up to find the next mourning, I did not die my taste buds soaring, This is the next day why am I here? Then I realize it’s to wake up and catch all your fears.