The Lie, That I Always Believed

The Lie That I Always Believed Until Now.. I was not sheltered. Open to it all, not protected. My smile is what I let be projected. My pain from past & present will not be reflected. My past has made me who I am today. Tough girl, Seeming as if she's not afraid of hurt or pain. I may come across as insensitive. Like I don't care if you die or live. Although, that is not the case. There's a side you can't see from looking at my face. Get to know me & you will see That things are different than they seem. There is more to me than meets the eye. Even if I'm strong, I still cry. I hate admitting it but it's still true. My heart's been in wrong hands, beaten black and blue. What do I want in Life? That's easy. I just wanna stay immature and be happy. To get over things you must let go. The process isn't fast & easy, it's tough and slow. But there is many things I have learned. I'ma Jessika, even though I've been flipped & turned. And I've always managed to get up and shake it off. So I can be tough, but there's a side that's soft. It stays hidden from the sun. It barely comes out or has any fun. Cause I don't wanna seem vulnerable or pathetic. I know I've got potential, but what about kinetic? Of course, I always keep moving. Whether I'm winning or whether I'm losing. This secret side comes out at night. During my dreams it tries to take flight. But behind the wall I built, it stays. To it's and my dismay. Mayve somebody someday will try hard enough. Break down the wall, with their love. Then me & the soft side will again become one. And finally it'll be able to play in the grass and sun. As it has wished to do. Because what I've been told all my life isn't true. It isn't showing weakness when you cry. It's better to be completely honest than to lie.