The Life You Could Have Lead

Blinded and confused by the haze that fills your decrepit mind Dwindling away not by only age, all the years of reusing, never learning the meaning of refusing So your past was a drag, as you always have said, you never managed to be good enough Always looking for something more, trying to find happiness through the eyes of any but your own Happiness does not come easy when you solely seek it out through everything but your own heart Slipping at the edge of finally being free, obtaining the ability to fully, irrevocably forget So many years gone by, not one that is free of a thick mixture of regret Look at how time has weaved itself throughout each pore of your skin Heinous, the only word that describes the beast you have become Grungy beard that hangs to the collarbone of anorexic prominence The pain you feel is irreversible, for your love for addiction is more pungent than your own life Hold on to a time when you could explain who you are and what you want to become Now the future is in the scope of the next trip; hanging by a thread, feeling the euphoria of freedom Not much more can your heart take; close your eyes, take your last breath, every sane soul will keep a distance No turning back this time around, feel as the blood rushes to your wrists and head alike No more pain, tormenting or worrying of such subjects as survival; for that my friend, is as surreal as the life you could have lead -- Brandi