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THE MUFFMASTER 
* 
The Ronco Muff Master 
Koochie trimmer 
Of unequaled excellence 
Grandmaster of Brazilian Wax 
I'd rather let the Chia Pet escape 
Than subject myself to that ritual 
The old rip and zip 
Girls gone Wild from pain 
And still the hair remains 
Ingrown indignant mutants 
Left for the cruel pleasure 
Of remaining bald there 
Where everywhere else 
You're encouraged to grow hair 
OH what a tangled web we weave! 
when we perpetuate this cruelty! 
to womankind. OUCH! 
* 
WordPlayer, May 2009