The Son She Once Had (sorry mom)

there's something wrong inside my heart, i cant find the answer, i only feel the pain. its this question that drives me. and it feels like drowning, as i cry everyday. the void in my heart keeps growing, the mystery of pain never fades. i cannot sleep, and i no longer smile i only weep, and hide my pain so far away. my mother's love brings my heart to tears. as she always new when something was wrong. she always told me how much she cared but i lied and said my pain was gone. My mother still cries for me, and prays to God every night. how i wish she could take away my pain, and once again hold me tight like when i was a small boy, in her loving arms everyday, but instead i am lonely, and wish death could take me away. Mom i am so sorry... that my mistakes made you sad you deserve the boy who made you happy... the little son you once had.