The Story Of A Life

I have nothing to live for anymore, I wish I could smile more, I can't break this depression, I have no life no direction, Happiness is right around the corner, But I always seem to trip into the coroner, I'm looking to death as a release from nothing, I'm nothing in life so in death won't I be the same? Let me rot away in a coffin, Maybe its what I've deserved all along, They say Hell is in the afterlife, Then what am I going through now? Isn't this enough hell to put me through? I have no one to truely turn to about everything, I feel so alone I'm cracking from the pressure, Everyone and their fake sentiments, Even on my birthday I couldn't blow out my candles, I have a few trues, But I'll still be singing the blues, No matter what I always pay dues, Dues I don't owe so I just lose, Electric chair dreams of hitting the fuse, Flip the switch, Put me in a ditch, I'm the scratch you couldn't itch, I'm the bat and your the pitch, I'll hit you with everything I got just to fail, So heres to my funeral, I hope everyone has smiles, I'm sure everyone will, I want to be the blood spill, On your carpet you can't get out, Maybe you'll remember me then, I don't even need a pill, I have nothing, Angry memories and tears, I'm tired of dealing with everything, Where are my good days? Are all of them supposed to be bad? It rains on the just and the injust, I know this has to be true, But am I the exception? Because my world pours rain in excession, Read out my eulogy, To people who never looked at me, They never cared when I was alive, Your not invited to see me lying there, I don't need your flowers, Or you sign in sheets, What is this a roll call? For all the deceivers, For normal thoughts, I wasn't convinced of the words you released, I'll succeed in death its all I've ever been good at, I don't have many talents, I'm way out of balance, Juggle my text in the ways you want, Only I can have the knowledge of the secret spot, I know what I'm saying in these verses, Secrets in writing like the churchs, This isn't a psalm, I'm not that good, I wish to succeed, Its not for greed, I just want to help everyone I love, With this gift I'm given from above, These are my thoughts, Decifer the memory, In endless tragedy, This will be my symphony, I will make this one longest, Because it feels the strongest, I can mix up my thoughts and leave them in a scramble, Or toss them in the herd and watch them trample, Either way I'll be ok, You made me square, I can't be circular, I can't be the shapes I see, The egotistic triangle laughs in the setting, For love of the color I see my shading, Purple and Blue I can be like you, Turn red like the blood you have shed, I want to be different from what you want me to be, So don't wait for these letters just let me be free, I'm weak and wounded but this is my turmoil, Maybe one day I'll be happy and cool, I am the traveler of dreams, And the maker of beams, Points of light in the distant sky, I lay in the shade and think of high, What beautiful space what lovely grace, No time or place or wasted taste, I'm set in motion at a steady pace, I'm not sure of the ocean so I think of place, By the beach or set in the tide, I'm laid to reach and slowly glide, I'm the one to teach of southside, Because in tennessee you'll see countryside, I'm in the east near the secret city, And springs of oliver which I love really, In bottoms of frost over hills and dales, How much greener this is then seas of whales, No need for ships or seashells, No need for boats or windy sails, Just nature in splendor its beauty to marvel, Much like the thinking man made of marble, You'll sit in thinking of the beauty thats there, You'll see when you move away you'll stop and stare, Can I really leave this scenery? Can I grasp the reality, Texas lands here we come, To make ourselves outta what we'll become, I'm sure you'll see when we're done, That we have dreams and we won, No more depression, Or having another lesson, Its time for my blessing, At the time of our departure, You'll say we're never make a future, But we'll make the news and fanbase, And we'll be kind enough to not throw it in your face, But help you out for all the times we took from you, And pay you back and say we're through, Call me if you need me I'll help you out, But don't call me to fill my head with doubt, I don't need those thoughts so please don't pout, We just needed our minds to make a route, I have lines to write and songs to sing, And loves to have and cars to bling, But I promise we'll visit often, You'll live in luxury and your mood will soften, Just like us to be the monster, To be the cancer, I am a rancor, I am the killer the mobster, Hired hitman, I've got your number, I will leave you in a slumber, Cause I'm the shit man, I'm the one you desire, But the one you fear, I am the assasin for hire, The spy you can't hear, I float in like the wind, I came through the back door, Into your basement, Where you didn't expect it, Wrap your arms around mine, This is your last embrace, I will leave you in time, After I remove your face, No one will know who you we're, I will take your teeth from your gums, Set you ablaze and leave you to burn, I will take off through the slums, When the police arrive your house will be on fire, I'll laugh at their attempts to find the liar, You we're a witch so deal with death, They'll probably think you we're cooking meth, You crack headed hoe, I hope they know, With what dna they can find, What drugs had you in a bind, With that cocaine smile, In your ash pile, I saw you laugh all the while, The whole time my troubles came to past, You lost my care really fast, So now sit on your face I'll be the last, Its not a joke to me, I'm serious as the sea, So wave again and I'll crush you to the sand, And break all the fingers and knuckles in your hand, Hate me take me make me I'm tired of giving a damn, Do as you will and toss me over the edge, I came to my ending and jumped over the ledge, Miles down to the bottom, Crush me to pieces, I can finally say I got them, My death finally eases, This pain you made me go through, You made me jump and my body I threw, I was there for me you never knew, I had to comfort myself in the days of new, In the sounds of the old I'll wish upon you, The star you think you are from afar in blue, Wash me up on the boat in front of the investigator, Lucky for you the cops don't know your the instigator, All the police in their undercover Lincoln Navigators, They'll never see the truth that you're the terminator, My life is over and my soul essence, The cops can't know of your presence, Maybe I'll get my brithday present, To watch you locked up in chains, For my smashed up brains, Suicide out by the trains, Will they see your footprints in the rock? Show up at your door and knock, When you don't answer they'll break down the lock, They'll lock you away in a nice cell block, Wish away you'll get older with the clock, Never again will you see your precious dock, My ghost will visit with a loaded glock, All they'll find is a blood soaked shock, Your prison will be out of stock, The clock is endless tick tock, So ends my symphonic divinity, So starts days of eternity, To think I've come to this from the maternity, At least your not the goddess you thought the deity, Maybe I'll be alone in the inferno, Take a seat its a long show, Just know you reap what you sow...