the train

09-05-2003 “the train” rain tonight late tonight alone tonight again I take the last train out cold yellow plastic seats noise of the track, the monotony of my life flickering fluorescents sickly pale, washed world flickering, flickering out darkness outside makes mirrors on the window who is this man, this boy transparent ghost on the glass distorted darkness hurtling past him passing through him lifetimes missed always beyond the edge of vision his eyes fill with tears i can no longer look sadness burns in my throat the scream of metal, we screech to a halt if I scream too, will this pain stop? wisps of cold lash my body, a mockery to the warm arms that once held me the doors release their prisoner, a gaping alien mouth wedged between pale unemotional eyes purgatory slides off to find new passengers again I will walk home home from the station walk drenched in the cold rain every drop i wring from my clothes seems like another little bit of you melting away from my life i am scared there will be nothing left of me when you have all gone i miss you every day, every night, but tonight was the worst.