this life...

speechless pain slowly drags these forbidden thoughts to reign thoughts of rage, forbidden longings longing to be freed to feed pit falls, disappointments, betrayals makes this life dim sight is clouded, blinded, the only sight I see is bleak all the pain done screwed me up, I shoulda been a nun only fail it seems I been made, the only tail I been grasping thru age now as a heed less brain salvages at least release for the pain, and seeks pardons and comforts, somebody to blame daily stress amputates the limbs of ma brain in its wake and puts fantasies in me to leave life the cowardly way I done blamed my ma for being that, and my pops for bailing out That came and that’s gone but this pain still needs to be let out Punching bags been burst, still the rage burns on So many things I wanna lyk, but ma brain just rains the hate so Grazed knees bleeding hands slowly reaching up to god I scream pleading words for him to reach out and fill this void Where art though o lord, where art though when I need u so Where art though where art though with the light to lit ma soul my back still lies bare and exposed to this cold stone my heart is still strapped to the saddle of the lonely souls every shiver every wobble puts a blame on the almighty for this struggle even ma liver threw straws wen it got lame and sick from feeding rubble and with ma empty hands swollen, anticipating warm soup I shoulda long given in to despair, but it aint wrong to let the hope bloom this empty palms been clutched eternally without blessings if this is loving then death alone is my calling Happiness aint no more in these cold coops i col home The very reason my comfort is in the past and bygones They say focus on the future, Home is where the heart is, But how can the unknown comfort me, when reality is discomforting this is my soul cry, this are the tears i done sucked but as long as the soul cries my talk to god rains out this a piece i been writting and editing for sum tym...i feel like it may be time to share it...