Through my tears

I fell apart crying tonight On my knees in broken prayer Broken indeed, no structure, or form Just said Your Name repeatedly, and said Father in between, called You Lord other names I’ve known since long ago but not with disrespect or anger. I said forgive this thing I have become I cried forgive me, please forgive me I said Lord, Father and other names ... my prayer could not be, I stuttered, stifled through my cries and tears I knelt there shuddering and shaking A grown man, weeping like a boy As emptiness engulfed me ... surely it knew my name. I thought back on Your Promises and how You answered prayers. some are no and others yes still they’re answered all the same and the no’s are testers, meant to make me stronger to understand Your Love. For I know that sometimes Lord, My time is not Your time, I see not Your Vision either, yet this much I found in my strange prayer devoid of form and structure, interspersed with tears and cries, and Names from long since past ... The simplest prayers bring miracles The Lord Knows what we need and my tears are not for nothing, when I lay them at His Feet ...