Why i call her the bitch

She stood before me My vision of beauty My hopes, my dreams My love She drawing the perverse blade of distruction Plunges it deep, Deep within my soul Confusion I, grasping at reality, Writhe with pain Why my love? Why? I stumble,I weep, Sadness, fear, anger flood over me I dont love you, she screams! Where softness now rage TRAPPED, UNLOVED, CONTROLLED Disbelief I seek resolution Infidelity? Depression? I relive the moments, our life, my part, our failings She now stronger, happy, free She takes without giving Venomous condemnation RIGHTIOUS, JUST! Lost in the darkness I question my existence, My essence I do not die I do not live The wound drains my being I wish to pass to a better world WhereI can love again WhereI can love myself Where I could let another, Love me With peace in my heart. Forgive me, For i have not forgiven you Yet I wish that i could Let go Be happy, Like i was When she was my admirer