wonder why i whither

Wonder do I why I whither In this forest by this river So familiar as I notice Wipe away my tears and focus on a dying Lotus lying on the forest floor and crying for his loving bloody Rose is about to decompose tragic scenes are all I’ve seen as I look around and feign for some crimson lips to kiss any form of normal Bliss or I’ll slit my listless wrists wait and watch the bloody drips as they drop and flood from me they will never stop you see I can bleed without my breath And in this chest my Soul accepts Is the very heart ofHeaven pounding every seven seconds like a firefly pulsating fading in and out, creating such a sacred sound and rhythm that insists you wait and listen yet forgotten and forsaken in these rotten woods I’m aching in this chill my will is breaking "Take me Death!", This is frustrating for I’m left to keep on waiting contemplating when I wonder will the end just send me under for this haunting, howling wind won’t stop taunting all my sins all I’m wanting is forgiveness i understand the past i'lllive with but must it be in such a dismal dark and dank place so abysmal as this forest frail and frozen that my Fate for me has chosen i only wish this punishment cracks me with its cleansing whip till I taste a tortured tear and face the future with no fear for iabhor this forest floor and Her wicked woods deplore nothing but a blackness lacking any signs of life or laughing dancing with dissatisfaction raw and wretched from inaction blistered, twisted and tormented festered, foaming and fermented madly rabid and demented unrelentingly intended but to be the most maligned vindictive forest by design shiver will I shake and shutter silently without an utter crucified, i'm crushed and crying but you will not see me dying for inside I’ll keep on hiding never will you know i'm lying when I mention my contentions for they’ll seem so unrepentant vanquished in this evil scented indolent and unlamented forest few can ever weather or endure or dare endeavor those who chose to never ever let their faith be sadly severed surely not by choice i choose this who would ever think to do this eat the fruit forbidden to us ihave come and now must go ispent my time lamenting so And burdenedmuch withbitterness Forced to stare at emptiness Sufferi did,so remised Clenched, my fist could not resist to crush this lust that must persist time is now, my turn to burn all my life my strife was earned reap so sweet what sweet you sew and toast the glowing midnight snow i raise ,in praise, my arms with glee thank the Lord, i'm finally free from these shackles of disease and from these trees of misery i'll run until the sun i see with my wings i wet the sky soaring toward the Lord who lies with a flock of lovingdoves i fly into the night above might my destiny unfold and softly whisper to my soul lullabies and little lies to keep me vigilant and wise on my toes and unsurprised when, my friends, i realize that everything is an illusion viewed in such a skewed delusion withered when i wake and wonder when will Heaven send Her thunder to spite the night with lightning lashing striking every time with passion lighting all the stars on fire inviting all the light I sire to understand my damned desire to leave this forest dim and dire