You,me and eternal pain

What part of me did I really lose that day? No matter how hard I try, I can’t seem to remember… Sinking in the depth of darkness, Hatred and loneliness begun to widen. I wondered… If I could obtain the hope to carry on, While holding the nightmare of that day? Everything I once held dear… Became my eternal pain. What kind of emotions should I have shown? For you to see, The scars that have grown in me. I can’t smile; My fake smile fades in a matter of seconds, Pushing me toward a future of sadness. I want be able to believe in you once more, But what you called love, Did nothing but break me… And the words that meant to free me, Imprisoned me inside a circle of frustration. The one meant to protect me, Turned a blind eye and walked away. Yet again; you ask me to follow your ideals, Not denying the actions that took my shine. Pressing even further into my pain. I want to forgive you, For you are the reason I live. Seeking your acknowledgment and approval, It’s like a curse; etched into my heart. All I want right now is to be released From this fate and walk to my salvation. The world you crushed so easily, in need for an honest answer for its agony. To find the way to the radiance and excel again. And entrust it with my new hopes and dreams.